a time when I have wished
I could trade places
more than now.
Why her?
And not me....
My heart feels empty
in the silence of this house
a house usually filled with laughter
and singing
and all manor of chaos
I would take it all now
if I did not have to listen
to the tick tock
tick tock
of the pendulum within my heart
which mark the moments
until she is here with me again...
Yet the noise is overwhelming.
When will Your voice be heard
above the din
above the noise
above the barking in my head?
The voice that calls from within,
calls to You
to be heard
to be recognized
to be healed.
Those around me tell me to be still-
be still and know You are God.
They offer prayers
and words of comfort,
Yet their words do not penetrate
through the noise.
For it is not hearing I lack.
It is my sight.
When will I see?
When will I see?
When will I see?
Your glory?
My eye is filled with mist
and I long to see Your face.
Therefore, in the noise of the silence
I will wait for Your glory
to be revealed in the fog.
A giant footprint?...
What will it be like to behold the face of my Savior?....I cannot imagine. Moses could not behold His glory. God had to hide Moses in the cleft of the rock, to protect him from the glory of God as He passed by:
"And he said, I beseech
thee, show me thy glory. And he said", God said, "I will make all my goodness pass before thee, and I will
proclaim the name of the Lord before thee; and will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and will show
mercy on whom I will show mercy. And he said, Thou canst not see my face: for there shall no man see me,
and live. And the Lord said, Behold, there is a place by me, and thou shalt stand up
on a rock: And it shallcome to pass, while my glory passeth by, that I will put thee in a cleft of the rock, and will cover thee with
my hand while I pass by: And I will take away mine hand, and thou shalt see my back parts: but my face
shall not be seen."
-Exodus 33:18
“For thus says the Lord of hosts: ‘Once more (it is a little while) I will shake heaven and earth, the sea and dry land and I will shake all nations, and they shall come to the Desire of All Nations, and I will fill this temple with glory,’ says the Lord of hosts. ‘The silver is Mine, and the gold is Mine,’ says the Lord of hosts. ‘The glory of this latter temple shall be greater than the former,’ says the Lord of hosts. ‘And in this place I will give peace,’ says the Lord of hosts.” - Haggai 2:6-9
The glory of the latter temple will be greater than the former....
He will fill the earth with His glory....like water the seas....
Come quickly Lord...show me Your glory....
I'm overdue, to say the least.
Basically, that averages out to one post per quarter whenever I used to write here almost daily. Facebook, the demise of my blog.
Why have are we all migrating to Facebook? Perhaps it's the satisfaction of receiving instant notification whenever someone comments on your status update. Or perhaps it's the dozens of annoying ads which appear in the sidebar. Speaking of ads, I have noticed there is now an ad at the top of my blog page. How and why does this occur? I dislike the ads.
Maybe we're all on Facebook because we can look simultaneously look at the little space that tells us how many friends we have causing us to not feel lonely. I doubt that's it.
I know, it must be the games: Farmville, or Bingo, or Candy Crush. For what it's worth, I don't play the games on Facebook. Well, I do play Candy Crush on my phone - which is connected somehow to Facebook, but it doesn't count as technically playing a game on Facebook. By the way, I've been stuck on level 39 for two weeks. I can win, but only with a score high enough to achieve two stars. My need to excel requires that I win with a score high enough to achieve three stars. What is up with that?!
I'm the same way with my graduate courses. I MUST earn an "A" in every class. I must always reach the top.
If I ever figure it out, I'll let you know.
Here goes...
I have to say that what is concerning me the most at this particular time is that I am unable to crunch the wonderful sugar-glazed almonds that I purchased while on a recent trip to Michigan. That's right. I have an entire bag of them sitting next to me on my desk and I cannot eat them because of the massive amount of metal that currently resides on my teeth! Whose idea was this anyway? Braces? They're for teenagers. I'm much too old for this stuff. Although I will admit that the newly-acquired metal structure has assisted me in my weight-loss efforts as eating is currently not a very pleasurable experience.
The above photo is not very flattering...in fact, a little scary...oh well...
Each day it does get a little easier however, and one day soon (well, not soon, but in two years...) I may have a beautiful, straight-toothed brilliant smile to show for it. Well, my smile may not be brilliant. Unless of course, I choose to bleach my teeth, for they have yellowed over the years...as all teeth tend to do. I think if I've gone to all this trouble of braces, that I might just have to have my teeth bleached when all is said and done.
For now, I'm content to gum my morning oatmeal... and figure out the best way to dry my mouth before applying the wax that is supposed to provide a barrier to prevent my cheeks from being torn to shreds....let me just say...do not use a washcloth...the little loops on the terry cloth fabric get snagged on the tiny protrusions of the braces and then you're left with this!
So now...it's back to dreaming about the day when I'll again be able to enjoy a piece of celery slathered in peanut butter....sigh....
It's been a busy summer - to say the least.
A week in Gatlinburg.
A week in Nashville.
A week in The Shenandoah Mountains of Virginia.
And all the in-between days spent either on the boat or at the pool.
It's been a good Summer.
I am blessed.
There are many, many stories which didn't get told here...things you may have enjoyed reading. I really should be more diligent in posting.
Looking ahead to the Fall --another road trip!! - This time to Michigan, where I will join with some of the most amazing women on the planet. It will be a time of renewing friendships and making new memories. I love my Scarf Sisters and am so blessed to be a part of this wonderful group of women.
Well, I see it's almost midnight. I really must hit the "publish" button!
I'll be back soon (believe that and I've got some swamp land I can sell ya!)
I leave you with my traveling gnome - he goes with me on every road trip.
I loaded my groceries into the car - looked at the sky toward home and said, "oh my."
I turned on the radio just in time to hear KLove broadcast a tornado warning for Greenville. I knew I had to drive right into the storm to get home. I prayed, "Lord, calm the skies and keep me safe," and then proceeded to drive through VERY HEAVY RAIN - visibility almost zero. The rain was pouring down in torrents - sideways - the wind was blowing - branches and leaves were flying - I was dodging debris on the roads - literally.
It took a little longer than usual to make the five mile trip home. Thunder cracking and lightning flashing everywhere.
As I pulled into the garage, lightning struck our flag pool which is about 15 yards from the house.
I began carrying groceries inside where I found Randy and Olivia eating waffles. I said, "There's a tornado warning and lightning just struck the flag pole."
Randy replied, "Yeah, it sounded really close. What do you think we should do?"
To which I replied, "I think we should go to the basement."
He then declared he would do so "just as soon as I'm finished with my waffles - I don't want them to get cold."
I'm thinking to myself...."really???!!!"
The glow from my laptop and one tiny desk lamp are all that's lighting this corner of my home. There is a moth fluttering around the light. It's a bit annoying. I'd turn out the light, but then I couldn't see as well and the moth would just begin to flutter around the computer screen and that would be more annoying.
I have nothing profound to say. The Summer is slipping by and I've been in some sort of a limbo state. I only do what is absolutely necessary to survive. I've tackled no big projects or delved into any of the dozens of books I said I would read during the Summer months.
Soon it will be time for me to start back to school. And I will look back on these days regretting that I haven't filled them more fully with all the projects I had planned.
Instead, I am just 'being' - perhaps that's not such a bad thing. Being, instead of doing. Too often I am doing and not enjoying the being part.
Like the annoying moth that is flitting and fluttering around this light...I think I need to squish it.
That is all.
1. My wedding rings are too loose and spin around all the time. Drives me nuts. I won't get them re-sized for fear that the jeweler will mess it up.
2. I spent considerable time changing the background of this blog before I submitted this post, simply because it was time.
3. I have always loved my name, Deborah Louise, but have secretly been upset because my mother's cousin has a daughter also named Deborah Louise. What is up with that? She was named first.
4. There is no way to mend my daughter's broken heart over finishing Fourth Grade and leaving her favorite teacher behind.
5. My hair used to be so thick that my hairdresser had to thin it out for me. Now it's getting so thin that I take biotin supplements in a desperate attempt to not feel as if I'm going bald!
6. I have more scratch paper than I can possibly use in a lifetime. (This would be the blank sides of printed-on-one-side-pages.) I cannot possibly throw them away.
7. Greeting cards from friends and family...I typically keep them. Unless you're just an "acquaintance" - then I'll cut the card in half and save the front of the card to use again as a postcard while discarding the back of the card which has the writing on it. I've been doing this all my life. I think I've only ever re-used three card fronts as postcards. Ever. It's a disease. I'm convinced.
8. I have a lot of trouble with people who believe that coloring always must be done "in the lines." Art is so much more than that!
9. My good friend in college once wrote a paper for me which I submitted as my own for extra credit. I was busy studying for finals. She was bored as she had no finals (she was student teaching.) That paper caused me to get an "A" in the class. I may have only earned a "B" - I do not recall. I have felt guilt and shame about this for YEARS!
10. I despise being on "terminal hold" when "continuing to hold for the next available representative."
11. When my husband was away for the weekend, the surveyor delivered a survey of our property. I put it "someplace safe" - and now I have no idea where it is.
12. Recently, I discovered a stash of Christmas gifts which I never gifted. I'm wondering if they can be returned? They are three years old.
13. I'm sometimes disorganized. (You're saying, "No! Really?")
14. Our entire house is wallpapered. It was that way when we moved in. I loved the paper everywhere. I still do, but I'm so "over it" and want to redecorate (especially our daughter's room) but don't because I know it will be too much work.
15. I love our satellite XM radio which we have in our vehicles.
16. I cannot throw away bubble wrap until all the bubbles have been popped.
17. Our dog is afraid of the popping bubble wrap noise.
18. I must pop bubble wrap in organized rows.
19. My daughter prefers to twist it or walk on it. This bubble-popping procedure drives me nuts!
20. As I've been typing this post, I have thus far been on "terminal hold" with a company for 25 minutes.
21. I am fascinated with magnets.
22. I love thunderstorms.
23. When making french toast, I always add vanilla and cinnamon to the egg/milk mixture.
24. Several cards have been sent by me to my current "secret sister" at church...but thus far I have received nothing - and a birthday and anniversary have come and gone. I'm guessing whomever has my name this year is a "dud"....did I just call someone a dud?? One year my secret sister died. I hope that's not the case this year!
25. I take vitamin supplements almost every day - but am very non-compliant whenever it comes to medications.
26. One year when I was in college, I "wallpapered" an entire wall in our apartment with empty boxes. It was quite colorful to see the images of Cap'n Crunch, Tony the Tiger, etc, all over our walls. I'm almost tempted to do it again today. (Please refer to #14.)
27. I've been working on this silly list for several days.
28. The last book I read was The Harbinger by Jonathan Cahn. I HIGHLY recommend it!
29. I own more books than it will ever be possible to read in several lifetimes. It is impossible for me to part with them. They are everywhere - in cabinets in a shed, in cabinets and on bookshelves in the basement, on bookshelves near my desk, on bookshelves in the bedroom, stacked in boxes and in bookshelves in my studio area. If I had $1 for every book I owned, I probably could take a vacation. My husband was thrilled when I bought a Kindle - (I have over 100 books on my Kindle---that's 100 less books cluttering up our house.) Currently, I'm reading two books: Convicted by Tim Hughes (a free book I downloaded onto my Kindle via Amazon. It's actually very good thus far (I'm on chapter six), and Lying on the Couch by Irvin D. Yalom, a "real" book recommended by an author of one of my textbooks. Both are works of fiction. Oh, and I'm reading Integrative Approaches to Psychology and Christianity - nonfiction - one of the textbooks for my next class.
30. This is #30 - I'm trying to decide if I should stop this list now, since it's a nice "round" number, or continue to bore you with more....
31. The bookmark I'm using for the above-referenced "real" book is a business card from Papillon Paper Emporium - a gift shop in Coeur D'Alene, Idaho, from a trip I took there two years ago. Did I mention that I have trouble discarding business cards? I mean, if people and businesses go to all the trouble of creating and printing business cards and/or paying someone to do the same, the least I can do is cherish their card forever and ever. By the way, I have learned via their website that Papillon Paper Emporium has since moved to a new location - thereby making the business card which I have in my possession completely worthless. I still cannot throw it away.
32. Okay - just one more for good measure: I haven't painted my toenails since the first week of December - I'm thinking since it's Summer, and sandal weather - it's time.
Who knows? I suppose it's whenever you choose to set the dial.
I asked Brillo Man..."So, what are you doing with that stuff? Are you planning to build a time machine?!"
These items are wonderfully arranged just 20 feet from our front door. (smile) Do you see me smiling? They've been there now for WEEKS. I haven't said a word. I figured in his good time, he would move them. Of course, it might be the year 2020 before that happens.
But wait, the tan thing on the left - with the glass door - and the dials and knobs....guess what that is?
THAT, my friends is an OFFICIAL NASA Gadget. Yes! Indeed! That contraption was actually used to purify nitrogen for something having to do with the space shuttle missions. I kid you not. He purchased it from some Government Surplus Auction at an Air Force Base. It really is an official NASA thing. (In case anyone cares.) Now granted, I too, do think that it's kind of a neat thing to have something that was used in the space shuttle program...however, I would prefer not to have it sitting 20 feet from my front door.
So this morning, to my glee and delight, Brillo Man tells me that the plan for the day is to clean up the driveway! Awesome! Several hours later - he asked me to move the car out of the garage. Why? So he can put the NASA gadget inside, of course. It's a good thing we have a tiny car - they both fit very comfortably. And now...whenever I drive home from somewhere like...the grocery store. I can pull into the garage, walk into the time machine, set the dial for an hour in the future and come back out to my car devoid of all the groceries...for they will all be put away. He is truly thinking of me, after all.
Yeah. Right.
Wait...on second thought, this could work. I have a birthday coming up in a few days...perhaps I could step into the time machine and shave off a few years!
In her book, orthopedic surgeon, Dr. Mary Neal describes her experience of dying and going to heaven. Now before you cringe at the thought of reading yet another account of someone who has "traveled a dark tunnel and gone toward the Light," let me assure you that this book is not typical. The author spends a good portion of her story explaining why it is that she was allowed to come back to earth. She weaves the events of her life directly to her experience in God's presence. It is actually a fascinating and alluring account of the many insights she received while "on the other side," as well as subsequent conversations she has had with the Lord and/or angels. I don't want to discuss too much of the book here, as I wouldn't want to give away anything should you choose to read the book. However, I couldn't help but post this photograph which I discovered this morning while searching for items to "pin" on Pinterest (...ah, don't even get me started on Pinterest! That's another topic and worthy of its own blog space!)
At one point in the book, Mary Neal describes the course of our lives as having many branches. And that is all I will say. (You'll have to read the book to get the full story.) This photograph by fine art photographer, Yuliya, in Ontario, Canada, perfectly illustrates part of To Heaven and Back.
