Friday, March 09, 2012

Where's my GPS?

I got lost this morning. Not on the road, but in the Land of Blog. Well, I wasn't exactly lost. I knew exactly where I was - visiting Vicki. What I didn't know was how the journey would effect me.

...Those of you who know me, know that I am ear-deep in books and papers and deadlines and assignments as I pursue my Master of Arts in Professional Counseling. The amount of time spent in this pursuit has been extreme - taking way more time than I initially thought it would. The technical writing has been intense with very little room for creativity. I'm an artist - 'creativity' oozes from me. There are moments in my writing for school that I feel completely quenched - yet I do know that I'm not to quit. God has made that perfectly clear, "There is a method to this madness," I hear from Him.

However, my heart is longing to break free and write and paint and flow with all the things that are inside my soul. I need to find a balance. I've had to set aside my huge, creative-writing style project and focus on technical, clear, concise, often dry and boring verbiage in writing "graduate level" papers. I've had to set aside my art. In a sense, I've set aside a huge part of what makes me ME.

Yet the Holy Spirit whispers that I must press on. "There are many whose lives you will touch - people who need to heal - people who will relate to your life and your story and you need to better understand how to help them," He says. And then I'm reminded of the young man in our youth group....who (although he doesn't know it) is crying out for help - help that I could offer based on what I've experienced in my life --yet there is a part of me that says, I don't have all the necessary tools to counsel this young man. And God says, "School. Don't quit. There is a method to this madness, and his name is -----."

Several years ago, I drew a picture of a young man. Today, I have given him a name.

I will not post it here, for there may be those who would recognize the name and I would not want to in any way reveal his identity. The Lord reminds me that it is for this young man, and for many other young people and adults who struggle....that I am to complete my Master's program.

So, in the meantime, pray that I am able to discover a balance - that I leave room for an outlet for my creative side - whether it be in my writing or art or blogging...or creating fun things with my daughter...such as the box we made to hold her Valentines....

....ah...the joy of being "lost" in the left side of my creative brain....

...time to find my way back to the right next class begins soon.
It's all in His perfect timing, after all...

You do have creative gifts.
They are foundational to your personality,
your ability to function from day to day
and your life callings.
Their discovery may have been delayed by hard times
or an oppressive childhood.
You may have been denied the opportunity
to develop your gifts.
But creative gifts are resilient
and quite patient.
They appear when the time is right
and can adapt to an ever-changing environment.
Even after being undiscovered
or neglected for decades,
they can walk onstage in brilliant colors
and dazzle you and those who are your witnesses.
~ Vinita Hampton Wright,
The Soul Tells a Story



Jada's Gigi said...

hang in there, sis!

Vicki @ Light for the Creative Soul said...

Deborah, I love this post and feel I know you better because you've shared your heart so well. It's a big load, working on your Masters but I want to encourage you, sis - you are ON YOUR WAY. Proud of you for persevering through this hard season and know the Lord will sustain you. Praying. Do look for little chunks of time to express that beautiful creativity inside. I'm still struggling to put words to paper myself, but I'm in your corner, pulling for you.