Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Chug-a Chug-a Chug-a Choo!

Yesterday, Olivia was flat on her back most of the day. She had puked all night and was "resting up" and recharging for today.

Presently, as I type, she is RUNNING around the living room singing, "chug-a chug-a chug-a choo - I'm a train! ...the train went over the, I'm a plane! Look Mommy! Mommy, you come and be a plane too!...." etc. ad nauseum. WHERE do kids get their energy? And why can't I have some of it?!

I have been complaining to Randy a lot lately that I'm unhappy with the fact that I've gained 40 pounds since our wedding day (4.5 years ago). That's roughly ten pounds a year. The last time I added ten pounds a year started when I was in college ---I added ten pounds a year until I had reached the jelly-belly weight of 323 (that was the last time I had weighed myself --I probably weighed more).

I worked REALLY hard at losing weight and managed to take off 132 pounds! YEAH ME!
My plans were to lose an addition 40-60 pounds. Instead, I got married, gained ten, had a baby, and gained 30.

I don't get enough exercise. No, let me restate that. I don't get ANY exercise. The majority of my time is spent taking care of Olivia. She's three. You would think that there would be a lot of "running to keep up" with her --but the truth is, I can orchestrate most of the day from the comfort of my couch. Olivia runs. I watch.

Well - I've made up my mind that I'm going to lose the weight that I gained back --and I'm also going to take off an additional 40 pounds. That's 80 pounds. I've already lost five (yeah me!) by cutting out all pop (soda or soft drinks for those of you who are unaccustomed to calling it pop). I've also stopped eating so many pretzels (one of my favorite snacks).

And....we just invested in a really expensive recumbant exercise bike. We ordered it from the PX (one of the benefits to being married to a retired military man - PX shopping - no tax - no shipping --except we had to pay shipping on this one because it was "oversize").

So - that means I can exercise while Olivia is running around the house.

My plan is to record my progress in my blog. I'll keep you posted on "weigh-in" day. Maybe, if I can find some old photos - I'll post one before I lost the original 132 - one from now - and another when I lose the other 80.

Here's what I'll need from you folks who visit my blog --encouragement! Tell me something that will inspire me. Pray for me. Tell me that it's worth it to turn down the piece of chocolate cheesecake with caramel drizzled on, better yet, remind me that I'M worth turning down the piece of chocolate cheesecake with caramel drizzled on top....because somewhere, down deep inside, I think this weight is a result of self-hatred - or low self-esteem --or something....

I recently read in another blog that women's addictions recur when they feel that they aren't being pursued.....I think there's something to that. I'm definitely addicted to food....and once again, I've allowed food to become my god. I thought I had learned that lesson --apparently not. Thanks for the prayers --I'm gonna need them!

....until the next post,
fatfully yours,

1 comment:

Char said...

You are a wonderful person and a lifelong friend. There have been MANY ups and downs in life, yet you've taken them all with grace and dignity.

I need to lose weight also. I had gained 65 pounds with my pregnancy, with 35 of it choosing to remain with me long-term. I had lost 20 of that by low-carbing, and it had stayed off a whole year. Then I was ill, and took massive amounts of steroids to shrink my tumor. Yada, yada, yada - I gained that whole 20 back and then some.

college weight - 160
yada, yada, yada...
weight before pregnancy - 180
weight after baby - 216
weight after low carbing - 196
weight NOW - 213
I thought I was fat at 180, but I haven't even SEEN 180 in almost 5 years!

So, I'm with you, sister! And, I'm FOR you [which means I will be holding you up in prayer]

Okey dokey?