not of art...but of Egypt.
Are you all familiar with that song by Sara Groves?
Lately, in all the hectic moments of my life, I have found myself longing for moments in the past. There have been moments recently when I find myself out-of-control with frustration. I know that the person I become in those moments is not really the person I am. I long for the days when life seemed less demanding. When I thought I had my head on straight....when obviously, if you know me and have been following my blog and you've read my testimony about my past...you'll know that I was FAR from having my head on straight (no pun intended.)
Last night, in the midst of the chaos, I was able to share Jesus with a woman in the Coronary Care Unit who believes she is dying.
And tonight, while screaming at my daughter because she's misplaced her shoes - AGAIN and is going to be late for Brownies - AGAIN... there was an instant when I wondered why I chose this life over my past.
How ridiculous is that?!
God forgive me for painting pictures of Egypt. I for sure, do not want to go back.
Several years ago, when I dusted off my Bible, took it down from the shelf and opened it to this verse from Jeremiah 31:3...
"...Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee."...and I realized that the Lord had not given up on me. That He would never give up on me...that His love for me was everlasting...that no matter how much I tried to avoid Him or run away from Him because I knew that I couldn't possibly live my life of rebellion and still be in His presence...He was wooing me all the while. When I finally listened and repented and started the long journey back to Him, He has blessed me beyond belief by giving me a husband who loves me whom I love in return. He's given us a beautiful daughter - when one time in my life I thought I would never have the opportunity to be a Mom. He's blessed us with a beautiful home in our (as Pat would say) "State Park." And so many other things both tangible and intangible too numerous to list.
So yes...Lord please forgive me when in the midst of the storm, I'm painting pictures of Egypt. Instead, may I be reminded of your many blessings. Remind me that I'm still engraved in the palm of Your hand. Remind me that your love for me is everlasting. Remind me that Your strength is made perfect in my weakness.
And help me to be a better Mom and a better wife...for without You, I can do nothing.
the LORD blesses his people with peace.