....no, not of the banjo kind...
....but of the spiritual bondage kind...
Sunday in church, we declared it Healing Sunday. I wish I had a nickel for everyone who told me that I needed to be sure to be in the prayer line to be prayed for regarding the MS that keeps attacking my body. Not so. I needed to be there for another reason altogether.
For months now, whether it be the start of menopause, the stress of my job, symptoms of MS, the addition and subtraction of different medications and their side effects or just the change in the weather, I have been a ticking time bomb just waiting to explode. Big time. In fact, I'm convinced that it was none of the above which caused me to go off in a rant every other day (or every other minute on some days!), but I do believe that the enemy had oppressed me with a spirit of anger.
I was lashing out at Brillo Man or Olivia for no reason other than stupid things like "I can't find my layway slip!!!" The enemy was winning. I was losing.
So, on Sunday morning, I decided that I had had enough. I don't know if any of you know that the original root for 'healing' in the Bible encompasses not only a physical healing, but salvation and deliverance as well. Bingo. Deliverance. I wanted it - and I wanted it now.
I stood in line --for a very long time --in physical pain from my knees and MS junk --many times wanting to sit down -- but knowing that this was God's appointed time for me...so I pressed on.
When it was my turn, Pastor Kent and the prayer team annointed me with oil and began to pray. Honestly, I have no idea what they prayed because I was transformed in my mind to another place --being blessed beyond belief --praying in my heavenly language --expecting a miracle!
...After church, it is customary for the people greeting at the door to offer a sweet treat. There is always someone standing with a huge basket of dum-dum lollipops and it is Olivia's chance to pick through until she finds the coveted grape one.
Lollipop in hand, it's time to don the winter gear and head out into the cold...."Olivia, please be responsible for your lollipop. Put in in the bag so that you don't drop it in the snow when we go outside." "Okay, Mom."
Upon entering the van, Olivia suddenly cries out, "Mom! My lollipop! I dropped my lollipop!" I calmly replied, "Why were you carrying your lollipop when I asked you to put it in the bag?" At which point, my sweet, cherub daughter transformed into this raging child..."I NEED TO GO BACK INSIDE AND GET ANOTHER LOLLIPOP! YOU NEED TO GO WITH ME TO GET ANOTHER LOLLIPOP!" ...still remaining calm, "Olivia, we're not going back to get another lollipop, I have to get home to get some sleep." (...as I had worked the night before and needed to return to work that night and hadn't yet slept and it was already 2 pm as church had gone way over time.) By now, Olivia is not just screaming but had gotten out of the van and was kicking and punching my door, screaming that she hates me at the top of her lungs and pretty much causing the disturbance of a lifetime. Olivia? no. ...the enemy using her to push my buttons. yes. But guess what? I had just been prayed for to be delivered from a spirit of anger.
Ha! Satan - you're defeated! I very calmly got out of the van, walked over to Olivia, took her by the hand and led her to the van door where I asked her, ever so nicely to please get in. Normally, I'd be screaming at her and stating that there would soon be consequences for her actions if she didn't shape up. Especially since I was exhausted after having been awake all night. My fits of rage were always worse when I was tired. But this time, not a word from my mouth. She got in the van and continued to scream as we drove away --all eyes of all the folks in the parking lot on us. I turned on the radio and began to quietly sing along to a Christmas carol. Olivia screamed some more. Louder. (Which I didn't think was possible since I was sure she had achieved the maximum decibel level possible for a six year old!)
I continued to sing. And then I looked at her in the rear view mirror and smiled and said, "Olivia, you better be careful, with all that crying and carrying on you're doing, your face is going to crack." Then - a smile. And soon a giggle. And what a pleasant ride we had the remainder of the way home.
Today - a trip to StuffMart --where again, I was tempted to lose control as Olivia started behaving in ways that were completely not becoming a happy six-year old. Again - I remained calm.
Coincidence? Nope. Miracle? Yes.
With God, I am victorious. The enemy will just have to stuff it and go bug somebody else. I feel a change coming...and it ain't menopause!
before church and the dreaded "lollipop incident"
looking all cute in the new dress that Grandma bought her!
But as soon as they were at rest,
they again did what was evil in your sight.
Then you abandoned them to the hand of their enemies
so that they ruled over them.
And when they cried out to you again,
you heard from heaven,
and in your compassion
you delivered them time after time.