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Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Underwear....and socks


So, I went to StuffMart the other day to buy new socks. While there, I decided to buy some new underwear as well. I knew the size I needed, but when I looked at the package, the back sizing chart indicated that I should be buying the next bigger size. I knew that they probably would be too big --but I bought them anyway because I didn't want to "go against" what the package said. Now I'm sitting here with underwear that goes practically up to my boobs --which isn't as high as you may think because my boobs are a whole lot lower than they should be --but it's still way too high to be considered properly fitting underwear.

And the new socks, while they look great, are too tight and leave trench marks in my skin above my ankles - due to major fluid retention -- probably because I've been binge eating a whole bunch of salty snacks. So now, I must go buy more socks.

And by the way, my sister actually suggested that I use my forlorn socks to make into catnip happy cat toys for wayward cats in animal shelters. She thought it might be a fun project for my Girl Scout Troop. Yeah, right, like I'm going to give up my socks to some hairball hacking cat only to discover the sock's mate in a bin in my garage in the year 2010. What?!..is she thinking?!

The end.


"Meaningless! Meaningless!"
says the Teacher.
"Utterly meaningless!
Everything is meaningless."
-Ecclesiastes 1:2

10 comments:

Mrs. Mac said...

What a vision you just described ;) ... spitting spit, chuckle, lol, lol ... just dump the socks and be free sista!

Deb said...

They'll get my socks gun when they pry them from my cold dead hands.

Pat said...

Laughing my coffee out of my nose at this! Have you ever bought two packages of the same underware only to find each package fits differently? Drives ya crazy!
I say hang on to those socks...who knows when a sock shortage will hit our land...then who will be the one laughing? Not you.

KayMac said...

I have 2 different packages of brand new panties sitting in my drawer because I didn't like the way they fit when I got home.

Deb said...

posting a disclaimer:
the comment from "Deb" is an imposter...
pay no attention to the man behind the curtain...
tsk tsk....

Felisol said...

Dear Deb,
nice meeting you.
I had a great laugh here in my kitchen.
The best laughs are the one when I've been there, done that.
Except for the cats that is.
I think they deserve a toy in their shelter. Wish I had a cat here right now. Hubby just found out there are mice in the cupboard under the sink.
IIIJJJJJK!!!
I don't fear spiders, snakes or flying; I fear mice.
Wish I had a sock toy for a cat.
From Felisol

Sara said...

ha! you're kooky today sister! i say you put form to function. add some shoe strings to those socks and make a bra for your long boobs.

dawna said...

Good Evening Deb the whack. Dawna the whackier here. Hope you figure out what to do with those socks cause you know when I hop on my scooter to do the Kennard tour, I'm gonna bring some Hefty's. The big leaf kind. The really big, I can hold all the socks you can spew kind. Be afraid...be very afraid. Higgles! (that's hugs and giggles to all of you who don't make up your own language. It's a psychosis of some sort, I imagine. Sara???)

char said...

You got a Girl Scout troop? Pray tell...

not my socks said...

Just think about all the good you would be doing for the poor defensless animals in shelters. There dream of one day owning their own play toy are being squashed! And I think the girls would have fun making them as an art project.