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Friday, June 30, 2006

Lost in the Music

Have you ever noticed how a piece of music can transport you to a place far inside yourself and you can get totally lost?

Earlier tonight at Worship Team practice, we sang a song that I haven't sung in probably five years or more - I Will Sing, by Don Moen.

As the notes began to play - I was immediately transported to a point in my past when I had just walked away from a 17-year lesbian relationship. I knew it was the right thing to do --but I was hurting --more than I think I've ever hurt in my life. During my time of healing and restoration - the Lord used my love for music to minister to me and this song was one that I found, time and again, to be in a prostrate position before Him worshipping -- pouring out myself to Him --not knowing what the future held for me --trusting Him to restore the years that the enemy had stolen.

God was faithful to restore to me what was taken. I am now happily married with a beautiful four-year-old daughter ---never imagining in that moment when I was feeling so lost and alone that the Lord would bless me beyond belief. Not knowing or understanding the plans He had for me --not knowing if I was even going to hold it together to get through to the next day.

As we sang the song in practice, I found myself weeping --as I remembered the place I was in and realized how far He's brought me. God is so full of mercy - so full of grace. When we run to His sheltering arms, He is there to be our heart's refuge. He rescues us and sets us apart. He hides us in His love. He is our hope and our serenity. I am so grateful for His unconditional love --the love that never ends --the love that forgives - and forgets.

Here are the words to I Will Sing:

Lord You seem so far away. A million miles or more it feels today.
And though I haven't lost my faith,
I must confess right now that it's hard for me to pray.
But I don't know what to say and I don't know where to start.
But as you give the grace with all that's in my heart.

I will sing.
I will praise even in my darkest hour
through the sorrow and the pain.
I will sing. I will praise.
Lift my hands to honor You
because Your word is true. I will sing.

Lord it's hard for me to see
All the thoughts and plans You have for me
But I will put my trust in You
Knowing that You died to set me free
But I don't know what to say
And I don't know where to start
But as You give grace
With all that's in my heart

I will sing.
I will praise even in my darkest hour
through the sorrow and the pain.
I will sing. I will praise.
Lift my hands to honor You
because Your word is true.
I will sing.


My prayer for you today is that you too, will be able to sing - to praise your Savior - in the midst of any sorrow and pain you may be experiencing. This life is but a vapor --and as my dear Mother frequently reminds me - "This too shall pass". One day, all our sorrow and pain will be a distant memory --for there will be no tears in heaven! With Jesus - you can face ANYTHING and be victorious! Trust me - been there - done that!

...living in the moment...preparing for the future...longing to be home...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hey,
I really enjoy your blog! Thanks for your honest heart and truthfulness, it is refreshing to hear someone be real. Its cool to read about real people who serve Jesus.

I am a musician, and I would be honored if you would check out my music. All music on my site is free for download. Anyway, don't want to be a pest, I just thought that I'd share.

Thanks,
-Sean
_____________________
www.SeanDietrich.com
"All my music is free."