Things I Thought Today

1) Remembered how much I loved my husband when he secretly scraped the dead cardinal I hit out of the car's front grill when we stopped to eat at Cracker Barrel while driving somewhere on our honeymoon...at least he thought he was doing it secretly. ...don't know if he knows that I knew...he didn't want me to feel badly because I murdered the bird...

2) Thought how crummy it is that I'm going to be getting together with an old friend tomorrow who I haven't seen in over a year. Why is it crummy? Because I am getting over a bad cold and have been blowing my nose with cheap kleenex (which are not actually kleenex because had they been kleenex, I wouldn't be having the problem which I'm about to share...). My nose is all scabby and gross and starting to peel. There's a mental image for you. Not a fun face to show an old friend.

3) If I don't stop eating all this junk food, I'm going to rapidly gain back the 24 pounds that I just lost. (As I type this, I'm reaching for a Big Hunk which I know I have stashed somewhere...and YES, Pat, it’s the candy that you sent me. I STILL have a little left! - and it's still good --which makes me wonder how many years it would last in a landfill...)

4) Wondered if I put resin on a booger and glued it to a paper and called it art - would someone buy it. Yes - I thought this today. Don't ask why. Andy Warhol said that art is anything you can get away with....and he was right. It's amazing what people will buy from my website. Earrings made from cheezit crackers....

5) I thought that my friend running over a chipmunk while riding her bike was a lot worse than me hitting a cardinal with our car.

6) 30 years old is way too young for the woman in CCU to be having a heart attack. But she was. As I reach for another Big Hunk.... (What is wrong with me?!)

7) I decided that going to midnight shift at work is going to be great in more ways than one. One of which being that I will no longer be as tempted to be sucked into the gossip ring that I’ve managed to allow myself to be sucked into. Why is it that we often think we “fit in” better if we’re mutually complaining about others? Who wrote that rule?

8) I decided that ketchup is the new red.

9) I thought that if I looked through the lens of the microscope AFTER I cleaned my glasses, the cells would look less like the surface of the moon.

10) I thought Bailey would be a good name for a dog. Bailey also happens to be my grandmother’s maiden name. Which is NOT one of those secret questions that websites ask you in order to protect your password security.

11) I thought that it might be fun if giraffes were purple. Gotta work on that one.