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Tuesday, December 04, 2007

At a loss...


Just in case you haven't noticed, I haven't been posting as regulary as I once had been.

I'm at a loss for words. And I don't know why.

I'm feeling a little (no, a lot) restless in my soul. Like something is amiss or should be happening or is going to happen. Spiritually, I feel like I'm sitting on the precipice of something huge and am about to plunge into something that I'm not able to see - not able to test the waters - nor begin to guess about the path ahead. ...wondering if He's going to be there to catch me or give me wings to fly.

I am hesitant to pray, "bring it on, Lord." Over the years, I've learned to be very, very, very, very (did I say, 'very'?) careful how I pray.

This restlessness keeps me from becoming too complacent in my relationship with God. Whenever God's wanting to do some work in me, the restlessness grows until I can't deny it. Lord..reveal to me what you want me to see. What changes do you want to make in my heart, in my life?" See, there. Now I've prayed it. look out.

Even thought this restlessness is sometimes an uncomfortable feeling, I am glad for it because it keeps me from becoming too self-reliant. It reminds me that it is only in Jesus that I find true peace, direction, and security. I certainly am unable to manufacture those feelings on my own. Trust me. I've tried.

The restlessness I feel is actually a big signpost to my heart to say that I'm not completely relying on God. (See...like I said...self-reliant.) I'm trying to fix everything that needs fixed - in my finances, in my relationships, in my walk with God. There's room for much improvement in all... but I can't fix things. I need to rest in the Lord --and see what great things He is going to accomplish. It's going to be something big. Maybe not the something big that I expected - but something that will be His perfect will for my life.

"Come to me,
all you who are weary and burdened,
and I will give you rest."
-Matthew 11:28

"Call to Me, and I will answer you,
and show you great and mighty things,
which you do not know."
-Jeremiah 33:3

7 comments:

Pat said...

I know just what you are feeling, but like you said, I think it is a good thing. That feeling of something amiss is that wonderful nudge and whisper of the Holy Spirit to draw closer to the Lord.
Matthew 11:28 may have been directed especially to me...I really feel that overwhelming kind of weary - I need to rest in Him...with you.

KayMac said...

good post. thanks!

Mrs. Mac said...

I'm right in line behind all the other "weary" people ... My mind has hit a block wall ... a wake up call from God that I need to let Him open the garden gate so I don't keep digging a way when He's already made a way for me.

Sara said...

with you.

Bonghi Vestiti said...

This is a great post and blog...yay for new "friends"!
God Bless!!!!

Margie said...

i love your post.

Anonymous said...

You posted one of my favorite verses - God's phone number: Jeremiah 33:3!!