Just in case you haven't noticed, I haven't been posting as regulary as I once had been.
I'm at a loss for words. And I don't know why.
I'm feeling a little (no, a lot) restless in my soul. Like something is amiss or should be happening or is going to happen. Spiritually, I feel like I'm sitting on the precipice of something huge and am about to plunge into something that I'm not able to see - not able to test the waters - nor begin to guess about the path ahead. ...wondering if He's going to be there to catch me or give me wings to fly.
I am hesitant to pray, "bring it on, Lord." Over the years, I've learned to be very, very, very, very (did I say, 'very'?) careful how I pray.
This restlessness keeps me from becoming too complacent in my relationship with God. Whenever God's wanting to do some work in me, the restlessness grows until I can't deny it. Lord..reveal to me what you want me to see. What changes do you want to make in my heart, in my life?" See, there. Now I've prayed it. look out.
Even thought this restlessness is sometimes an uncomfortable feeling, I am glad for it because it keeps me from becoming too self-reliant. It reminds me that it is only in Jesus that I find true peace, direction, and security. I certainly am unable to manufacture those feelings on my own. Trust me. I've tried.
The restlessness I feel is actually a big signpost to my heart to say that I'm not completely relying on God. (See...like I said...self-reliant.) I'm trying to fix everything that needs fixed - in my finances, in my relationships, in my walk with God. There's room for much improvement in all... but I can't fix things. I need to rest in the Lord --and see what great things He is going to accomplish. It's going to be something big. Maybe not the something big that I expected - but something that will be His perfect will for my life.
all you who are weary and burdened,
and I will give you rest."
"Call to Me, and I will answer you,
and show you great and mighty things,
which you do not know."