As often as I tell others to take time to recognize Him at work in their lives, is how often I forget to take the time to seek Him in my own life. I go through the days - at times with my mind in a blur, and my heart held captive by a myriad of emotions and situations too personal to reveal --so much so that I stuff inside and stuff inside until inevitably, I explode in a puddle of tears. All the hard stuff, all the things of life - they sometimes add up to a whole lot of chaos and doubt, fear and frustration, uncertainty, and a thirst for peace and rest which many times I think are impossible to attain, even for our Great God.
The other evening, I was blessed to attend a Christmas concert with my daughter. Sitting and basking in the glow of worship, the Lord spoke so quietly to me and said, "Daughter of mine, I have not forgotten you. I have not forsaken you. I know every tear you cry. I see the hurt. I see the pain - both emotional, and physical which you carry. I promise if you will lay it all at my feet - all the hurt - all the fear - all the frustration - all the junk - all the pain...I will take it and transform it. And I have not given you more than you can bear. The cross you carry, the burdens which at times seem overwhelming, I chose you to carry them for I knew you were able. For I have a great plan for your life. A plan which exceeds your highest expectations. The pain - it will return to you as a blessing, and you, in turn, will bless others as many will benefit from all you are experiencing. Let me take your pain and I will give it back to you - re-purposed."
You may imagine, after that conversation, I was in tears.
A few moments later, there was an intermission during the concert and one of the band members took some time to talk about an opportunity to sponsor a child in another country. My husband and I sponsor several children already - therefore, I knew that I wasn't going to volunteer to sponsor another. But God
I said, "God, You know we already sponsor four children." God said, "And now there will be five." And I said, "But it may cause pain in my finances..." And He said, "...and I will take the pain and turn it into a blessing..."
Okay. God wins.
He always does.
Imagine my surprise when I raised my hand to accept a sponsorship packet and was handed a photo of a beautiful seven-year-old girl. My heart melted. I thought about all the blessings this life affords me and my family, and how can I possibly be fearful and frustrated that helping this precious child with this sweet face would ever burden me and cause pain in my finances? I knew immediately God would provide. And then I saw her name: PAIN
There He was. Emmanuel. God with me. Turning my pain into purpose already....