Sunday, February 18, 2007
A is for Alligator
It has occurred to me that I haven’t shared this story with my blog buddies...and I know how much you all enjoy a good story.....
When Brillo Man and I were dating (long distance - he in Florida and I in Pennsylvania), he used to take long walks through all the swamps and woodlands of Florida while talking to me on his cell phone. One particular evening, he was talking to me and walking when all of a sudden he spied an animal nearby in the underbrush. In an attempt to scare it away, he let out this horrific, primal scream: "Hiya! To his dismay, the loud, primal scream did nothing to scare the creature away –but rather encouraged it to ATTACK! The creature CHARGED at him through the underbrush – at which point, Brillo Man screamed louder and ran. I kept asking him, "Are you okay? Are you alright? What's going on?" I was feeling totally helpless being thousands of miles away - fearing he was being attacked by some kind of swamp creature! Finally, after he got quite a distance away and was able to catch his breath he said, "I was trying to scare away an animal I saw in the underbrush and it charged me - I think it was an alligator!" Realizing that he was obviously startled by this charging wild animal and wanting to bring some lightheartedness to the situation, I playfully said, "Oh...it was probably just an armadillo”.
“No – It was an alligator.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure it was an alligator.”
“Well, you better get out of that area if there are alligators there.”
About fifteen minutes later into the conversation, Brillo Man said, “I have to tell you something.”
“It wasn’t an alligator.”
“Well, what was it?”
“It was an armadillo.”
Aha!!!...The ATTACK OF THE KILLER ARMADILLO!!! Needless to say --he has NEVER lived it down! He gets armadillos for every holiday, birthday, anniversary, etc. We have them all over the house – armadillo refrigerator magnets, armadillo key chains, ceramic armadillos, cast iron armadillos --you name it – he’s got it – armadillo Christmas Tree ornaments, armadillo belt buckles, armadillo banks, canned road kill armadillo…
We have a custom made road sign posted on our driveway which reads “ARMADILLO AVE.” For one anniversary, I presented him with a painting I had done just for him which now adorns our bedroom --you guessed it --an armadillo!
Here’s the really sad thing….this past Christmas, I FORGOT to wrap up an armadillo. (I have a stash of them hidden away – just in case I ever need an armadillo gift….) It’s time for me to go raid my stash…
(By the way....I have armadillo notecards for sale if anyone is interested...the proceeds from all sales will go to support AA....Amadillos Anonymous...of which Brillo Man is the founder and CEO. "Hello, my name is Brillo Man and I was attacked by an armadillo..." After all, the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem!)